The past couple of days weren't my best. I had been so "ON IT" for the few couple of weeks, so having these little times of weakness were really bothering me. After 2wks I was feeling much leaner, tighter, stronger, and my jeans were fitting so much more comfortable. What an awesome feeling! That was also 2wks straight without a cheat while drinking ALL of my water. I sit here and wonder what I could accomplish if I stuck to that for a long period of time! And why are some days soooo easy when others feel like such a struggle?

I had my cheat meal last Friday night when Jon & I finally had a date night. It was like a caged animal was released and I definitely ate more than what I would consider a free meal. I went to bed feeling crappy but woke up and had a great next day. Sunday came and I snuck one teeny tiny cheat which led to more little nibbles throughout the evening. Not good. I woke up Monday wanting to do well. I did great...until I ate about 6-8 mini chocolates from Aiden's leftover Easter candy. I headed to the gym and squeezed in extra cardio to try and compensate. Tuesday comes and I'm SURE this is going to be the day without a cheat. Hmmmm....more chocolate. WTF. I kept putting off the gym all day until I finally went around 6:30pm. I HATE going at night too, b/c it's so busy and I just want to be home relaxing. I did an hour on the elliptical to try and make up for my cheats. I felt sooo much better when I got home. Yet I wonder how much I'd be changing if I hadn't eaten the junk. Oh well, can't dwell on it, right?

Beka called this morning and it was exactly what I needed. I was feeling a lot of guilt over everything. I think my husband hasn't been happy with everything. He says I spend so much time at the gym, worrying about my diet, etc... I think he's either feeling left out, like I'm neglecting him, or maybe I really am being selfish? I don't know. The talk with Beka made me feel much better and I really do believe that I need to do this for me. I'm so much more confident and happy when I'm lean and in shape. On the other hand, I need to make sure he and Aiden know they're my #1 priority, too. I think I need to plan something special for them.